In My Head-and not paying rent

In My Head-and not paying rent

For a number of years, I have been told resentments will tear me apart if I don’t deal with them. I was told, and it remains true today, that resentments are like a tenant in an apartment building who occupy space but pay no rent. The space in my head is at a premium, and I need it to be occupied gainfully. I can’t afford freeloaders.

“It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worth while. But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For when harbouring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die.”© 2001, AAWS, Inc., Alcoholics Anonymous, page 66

I draw much of my strength from things learned from the 12 steps as written in the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous. PLEASE BE AWARE that while the publication was written for those with problems with alcohol, the principals of the steps have long be recognised as a model for any human being to live a healthy life mentally. Forget the word alcohol as written above UNLESS it applies to you. Resentments are a grave malady for all human beings if allowed to live on in the head, and are not dealt with.

I have found that in dealing with my own past, as much as I did not think I was carrying them, I had some deep seeded resentment that I really had to dig out, and I had carried them below the surface for decades. They truly did shut me out from appreciating the full sunshine of life.

While along way from perfect even today, I became aware of the resentments I was carrying through work directed by others, and following the guides of the steps. To the best of my ability, I have dealt with long standing resentments, and in doing so, have been able to grow spiritually and grow as a person.

My journey to a better life came because of an inner feeling that there was a better life available.

Along the journey, I have faced some real issues, including addictions to substance and behaviours. Identifying and dealing with resentments played a huge role in the recovery of a life that has hope and serenity as key elements on a daily basis.

Perfect? No. Improved? Yes.

Are resentments occupying valuable space in your head and not paying rent? Are resentments keeping you from living the life you desire and deserve?

You do have a choice and freedom is available to those who are prepared to change.

It Is Only On Loan

It Is Only On Loan

Those who know me know that I’m an avid golfer. Every now and again, and usually out of the blue, I have a remarkably good round. The one lesson a friend instilled in me is that “it is only on loan”. That usually proves to be true!

While reading today, I came across the following that certainly reminded me of the adage, and took it deeper.

“Life is a series of letting go's - an "infinite" series of letting go's. All things in life are given us on loan. . . . Once we have learned to let go, we are prepared for whatever life gives us. And death itself is nothing to be feared.
--Matthew Fox

For many years, I resisted the concept of letting go. I resisted mostly because I didn't understand what people were talking about. I'd be loudly obsessing about something. "Just let go," they'd say. "Okay," I'd say. Then I'd walk away and wonder what they meant, and mostly how to do it. Soon, I caught on.

Letting go is a behaviour we can practice each day, whatever the circumstances in our lives. It's a behaviour that benefits relationships we want to work. It's a helpful behaviour in insane relationships, too. It's a useful tool to use when we really want to bring something or someone into our lives, and in accomplishing our goals. It's a helpful tool to use on outdated behaviours such as low self-esteem and manipulation.

Letting go takes the emotional charge, the drama, out of things and restores us to a sense of balance, peace, and spiritual power.

Letting go works well on the past and the future. It brings us into today.

Paraphrasing the mystic writer Matthew Fox, everything that comes, comes to pass. Demystify letting go. It's not as complicated as it sounds. Learning the art of letting go really means learning to calmly let things be.”

These are certainly wise words, easier to look at and intellectually accept than put in to practise.

There are emotional situations, primarily revolving around family, that do happen in life. My tool kit tells me to let go; but easier said than done. Some of these thoughts have played on me a caused stress and little black clouds!

My inability to let go immediately has caused doubts in some of my basic beliefs, but then sanity returns.

As I look back as to what was really bothering me a month ago, I appreciate it was “only on loan” as was the last great golf game I had. Time to go to greener pasture and see if I can loan it back. I’ve let go of what happened yesterday and know today is a new day!!